Anger During Quarantine

Inspired Bible Book: Job

As I am writing this over 1,000 people have died from COVID-19 today. At first, I was thinking of writing a political think piece about it, but I felt like there was a more personal conversation to be had. In my county alone there are over 6,000 cases, some of which are friends and family. I give God the glory and thanks for keeping me safe. COVID-19 has struck America in such a catastrophic way, it shows me that if not for the grace of God I would not know where I would be.

Although, I would be lying if I did not say that watching the death toll increase every day has shaken my faith. There are so many instances in the bible where we hear about sicknesses, diseases, etc. being released due to God’s anger or in the protection of God’s chosen people. It almost doesn't sound real until now when we are in a pandemic I wonder if it was something like this, if not worse. I had so many questions and soon I realized I was angry. I was angry at the government, I was angry at the people protesting against masks and PPE, I was mad at the people who call the virus a hoax, but most of all I was mad at God for allowing this to happen.

I know I can't be mad at God. It does me no good, it makes me nothing but resentful and skeptical. So I had to take the time out to ask myself what exactly is going on.

Being alone in the house all day has given me time to think to myself and meditate on the word of God. Sometimes, having so much time to yourself can be upsetting, especially for people like me, who are extroverts and enjoy the presence of other people. So I have tried to use this time to focus on introspection. So during my devotional time, I came across “the lamenting psalms”. David seemed like he was upset with God. But something I learned from him is that even though he was upset and felt lost, he remained strong in the steadfast love of God. Similar to Job, he went through severe trials and tribulations but he remained faithful to the Lord, even when his friends and family told him not to.

“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.” -- Psalms 13:5-6

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” -- Psalms 42:11

The most perplexing part for me is that God has shown nothing but love and mercy and yet I was upset with him? I was not applying the same principle he spent Genesis through Judges clearly explaining. The Israelites after being delivered from slavery and oppression from surrounding nations still always found a reason to be upset with the Lord. They cried and begged over minor things and the Lord instead of unleashing his immediate anger showed mercy and gave them provisions. So who am I to keep my anger? Who am I to complain even though the Lord has done nothing but show mercy?

Unfortunately, most of the time anger stems from pride. It is quick to sin when you maintain anger and malice in your heart because someone has done something to hurt your pride. My anger is severely misplaced, and instead, I should use it to drive me into finding the root cause of it. After a very personal conversation with myself, it became evident that I misplaced my anger towards the ignorance of people on God. But again the Lord in his kindness has given me more time to understand myself and my role in this world and for that I am grateful.

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Helpful Links:

Bible Gateway- https://www.biblegateway.com/

Coronavirus- https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html